Apple Commercial Spoof!

So yeah, I was searching for the Apple iPhone adverts on the Internet when I came across some totally awesome mock adverts.

Remember how Apple has this longstanding campaign on television where two guys representing a Mac and PC talk, and the Mac avatar kept on dissing the PC avatar for its "superiority?" Well, the mock adverts I found took the exact same concept, but turned the tables around on Apple!

Basically, it's the Apple iPhone versus the Nokia N95, which I proudly own. Anyway, below are the videos. They are hilarious! Enjoy!

Picture Viewing Capabilities



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Camera functionality



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Not the watered down Internet, nor the mobile version of the Internet, nor the kinda sorta looks like Internet Internet (double mock)


The above commercial mocks the Apple iPhone's "Watered Down" commercial shown below:


The above commercial also stretchingly mocks Apple iMac's "Networking" commercial shown below:



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How to get to Seafood Calamari


The above commercial mocks the Apple iPhone's "Calamari" commercial:



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Battery Trip to China



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Cool Ringtone



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All the spoofed commercials can be downloaded in MP4 video format here:
Picture Viewing Capabilities
Camera functionality
Not he watered down Internet, nor the mobile version of the Internet, nor the kinda sorta looks like Internet Internet too!
How to get to Seafood Calamari
Battery Trip to China
Cool Ringtone

Swamp Ass

Since it is the start of the fall season premieres, I spent some time watching television. [More on the fall season in a later blog.] I wasn't too excited about the Titans/Saints game on Monday Night Football, especially after watching the first half at Gold's Gym while running my six miles on the treadmill. C'mon! The Saints were embarrassing!

Anyway, the show I really wanted to watch was The Big Bang Theory, or at least the only one I could catch after getting dinner. I made it a point to avoid the television while How I Met Your Mother was showing, because I got back to the hotel 15 minutes after the show had started. Besides, I have that scheduled on my DVR.

Just wanting to kill some time, I decided to watch Two and a Half Men. I have seen a few episodes in the past, but although it was kind of funny at times, it never captured my desire, thus never earning a spot in my precious DVR space. But tonight's season premiere episode was really clever and funny. Not to mention corny at times, but that is how it is with most situation comedies.

Somewhere in the middle, there was a reference to "swamp ass." Of course, being the foreigner-turned-citizen that I am, I had no idea what the hell the joke was all about. I quickly looked up my trusty Urban Dictionary, and oh my goodness! My precious virgin eyes and mind!!!

It didn't take much for me to realize what it meant, and despite being utterly disgusted, I was immediately put to rolling on the floor laughing out loud (a.k.a. rotf lol) when I read the third entry in the definition of swamp ass:
A common condition in which the ass crack and crotch becomes overly moist, sweaty, and stinky from one or all of the following:
- sweating on a hot day
- not bathing enough
- long day of work, sports, play
- incomplete wipe due to rush or laziness
The crack will often feel squishy, wet, unpleasant, and itchy. It is recommended to take a bath with soap to sanitize the condition.

Man, what was really funny to me was the last reason: "incomplete wipe due to rush or laziness! Holy smokes!!!

As a person who is germaphobe, I have never been rushed nor lazy in my ass wiping activity. If anything, I am quite guilty for killing trees when wiping after taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. I just cannot imagine anybody would feel like they are rushed to avoid completely cleaning him/herself up!

Unimaginable!!!

Thank goodness that I rarely had any swamp ass... And I'd like to keep it that way.

Quote of the Day

The moment I touched down at Seattle-Tacoma International, I text messaged two of my friends who I knew with 100 percent certainty to be watching NFL games. The questions were 1) What was the final score for the Chiefs/Vikings game, and 2) What is the score on the Bears/Cowboys game?

Although one of them was actually traveling to New York, both replied promptly. KC 13-10 and Bears 3-0. Certainly, these are good news on a Sunday which I had to spend packing and traveling. I couldn't wait to get to Chinatown to pick up my dinner and some grocery shopping before heading to the hotel so I could watch the Bears game.

By the time I had checked in and visited the Executive Lounge with food ready on my lap, the game was tied 3-3. Okay, not too shabby...

By then, little by little, things started picking up. Excitement was building up like steam in a boiler. The Cowboys picked up a touch down, putting them up 10-3. Then Grossman made a crazy rush that earned him a first down, resulting in a touchdown during that drive that got me to cheer loudly. 10-10. I was definitely on the edge of my seat. Or hotel bed.

I was looking forward to this game, because offensively, the Cowboys is a team that is explosive and great to watch this season, especially with Tony Romo. I think he is the most electrifying quarterback this season. It's not that I don't think there are any other great quarterbacks, but Favre and Manning performing well is something to be expected as the norm. On top of that, the Romo-Owens pair today reminded me of the Montana-Rice pair of the 80's. That goes to show how excited I am of the Cowboys. And there is the Bears defense led by Urlacher on the flipside. With Grossman doing relatively well last week winning over the Chiefs, this was definitely a match-up guaranteed to excite.

Then excitement turned into disappointment. The Cowboys led with 17-10 after a touchdown. Immediately after that, we fumbled, giving the ball right back to the Cowboys. We began looking bad, as Romo did amazing things play after play. This led to John Madden commentating on how good Romo was, dissecting into his talents.

While in the midst of praising Romo, Urlacher sacked Romo. This totally caught the commentators off guard, which made Madden say, "Urlacher's seen enough of Romo's God-given talent."

This was so funny because of the way Madden said it. And of course, this totally ignited a little dash of hope for the Bears. But alas, it was not meant to be. Everything unraveled faster than an easy girl's undergarments on a hot date. We fumbled and threw a couple interceptions. It was so bad that the crowd at home started chanting for Griese.

Well, what started out as a blog about the funny comment that I thought would put us back in the game ended up with a humiliating loss. Sigh...

Uh... Cum Again?

Why is the guy holding the microphone fighting to keep his laughter contained?!?

A Sad World We Live In

So earlier on Monday morning, I woke up as usual and plopped in front of my television set and watched CNN Headline News with breakfast in tow. It was the first day of the work week, so I was not in a hurry to leave for work, as I had worked on Saturday.

After a quick commercial break, the news reported the death of Italian designer Gianfranco Ferre. CNN Headline News dedicated about a good 45 seconds to the story, even went so far as sharing which celebrities are loyal customers (i.e. Oprah). For Headline News, 45 seconds is considered pretty extensive coverage.

This, of course, is no big deal, until I realized that the little headlines ticker on the bottom of the screen simultaneously had this scroll by during said 45 second coverage of Ferre’s death: Sheik Jamal al-Din Abdul Karim al-Dabban, Iraq's top Sunni Arab religious leader, died Sunday of a heart attack at 68, an official said; he was seen as a moderate who did not play a significant role in the Iraqi insurgency. AP

Of the deaths that were considered newsworthy, I was shocked that the death of an Italian fashion designer was given more extensive coverage, whereas the death of a rather significant person in the history-in-the-making of Iraq was given a few seconds of scroll time. And what was worse is that in the entire hour, which had four cycles of “repeating” headline news, Christi Paul and Mike Galanos did not mention anything about the Sheik’s death, much less the reporting of a gaffe in which American forces accidentally arrested him in 2006!

You know we now live in a sad world of irrelevancy when a respected news channel dedicated to providing news 24/7 barely mentioned the death of an important religious cleric, but reported extensively on the death of some famous design icon. And Wayne Wiedman’s traveling cat.

Sigh...

Swim with Condoms?

Okay... So I was screwing around on MySpace today during an I B M All Hands conference call. It was something about organization restructuring or something else. Funny, as I have been with I B M three weeks shy of a year, and we had undergone a couple reorganizations during my still-short tenure. Naturally, I was bored during the call because I kind of got the gist of it by skimming ahead on the PowerPoint presentation. So what did I do while some vice president was talking? I logged into MySpace.

Whoa! One of the dynamic advertisement banners on the top of my MySpace page was for an event benefiting the Manhattan Island Foundation. The actual event itself? Open water swimming in the waters of New York City. This, of course, caused some curiosity on my part on a couple points.


First point. MySpace has always been a huge assault on localized advertisement for a long time now. When I traveled to Los Angeles on business, it seemed like MySpace knew I was in LA, because all the adverts were related to the greater Los Angeles area. Find Singles in L.A.! Live Chat with Singles in L.A.! And likewise, when I’m back in Chicago, different adverts would pop up, all relating to the Chicagoland. Given that, why the hell am I being shown a New York advert?

Second point. I got to thinking more in depth about this particular advertised event. When my friend Katie was kayaking the Chicago River, she expressed fears of turning over and falling into the river not because she couldn’t swim, but because of the filth she had to paddle through: a used condom floating here and a dead rat floating there. And add to the misfortune I had of growing up along with popular culture as portrayed on television shows, like The Soprano’s and CSI: NY. And what kind of imagination do you get of swimming in the open waters of New York City? Trash, used condoms and dead mafia mobsters all floating around! Not to mention Godzilla lurking unsuspectingly underneath!

Those thoughts simply gave me the chills! I’d like to see what kind of turnout that event will have. I for one will be hesitant to go swim in the open waters of New York City!

Days of Our Lives

Being here in Los Angeles, one cannot but feel the need at times to get into the whole Hollywood craze. And I'm no exception to that, as there had been times when I entertained thoughts of leaving work early and heading over for some kind of a live taping of some shows.

Of course, I get my Hollywood itch once in a while only because where I work at my present client site is really close to CBS Studio City, and after work, I retreat to the Hilton Towers at Universal City, close to Universal Studios. Unfortunately, I have not had the chance to scratch that itch, despite the fact that I had so many chances.

Well, this morning, or rather, on Saturday morning, I was sitting in the Executive Lounge having breakfast with my coworker by the window overlooking the hills and Universal City. As usual, we would crack silly jokes at each others' expense, and talk smack. Because it was 08:30 on a weekend, it was by my standards extremely early in the morning, my mind was not in full swing yet. So sometimes a joke that would have taken at most thirty seconds to crack and ha ha over it took about five minutes.

Coworker: I wonder if we'll have time after work to check out some of the studios.

John: That would be nice. Which one are you thinking?

[Coworker looked out the window, and noticed something that made him smile.]

Coworker: Maybe we can check and see if Vivid has any live tapings going on.

John: What? Why would you want to watch a live taping of Days of Our Lives?!?

Coworker: Huh? I meant, maybe we can go to a live taping at Vivid.

John: Yeah. Isn't that where they tape Days of Our Lives?

[Coworker was losing patience, and gave me the what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you look.]

Coworker: What? I'm not talking about NBC or Universal Studio. Vivid!

John: Yeah, dude! Isn't Days of Our Lives an NBC show? Hello?!?

Coworker: I don't know what you're talking about. I'm talking about going there!

[Coworker pointed at a rather large office building across the highway from the hotel, with a remarkably recognizable sign that read: Vivid Entertainment in its trademark blue colors.]

John: Oh!!! Vivid!!!

Coworker: No shit! What did you think I was talking about?

John: Somehow I was thinking of Vivendi Entertainment when you clearly said Vivid! You know, Vivendi being owned by NBC.

So there ya go! This proves the point that I am so not a morning person, especially when it comes to the weekends. Even something relating to pornography doesn't help my brain click at 08:30 in the morning. For most other guys, mention porn, and he snaps awake right away. But not me.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind going to a live taping of, ahem, Days of Our Lives, wink wink!

Damn the 'Cock Network

Network executives are growing more and more impatient with the passing times. No longer are nurturing in and investing something big a concern for future success. Now, success is strongly dictated by the biased and inaccurate Nielson ratings (whose practice have for years discounted the tally of black and minority households) and the instant buck from television advertising and unscrupulous product placement.

There is a very good chance that I can predict that you liked Seinfeld, the show that has contributed just as many, if not more, catchphrases into the popular culture lexicon as Friends did. You may even agree to the fact that Seinfeld was one of the most successful series on television, albeit its lackluster final farewell episode. But in today's world of making the quick buck, Seinfeld would never have lasted past its first season!

What the hell has gotten John's undie tied up in a wad now?!?

The last three weeks has been extremely horrible at work. I'm surprised that it has not driven me to binge drinking, but stressful nonetheless. So naturally, I didn't need any extra grievances, you know? But nosireebob! It was simply not in the cards. I returned home on Monday almost at 21:00, tired and wretched. I prepared dinner, and turned on my digital video recorder. The perfect unwinding experience would be mine the instance I start watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

A quick, then more thorough, flip through of the list of shows recorded, Studio 60 was indeed missing. I first suspected a malfunction in my new HD DVR. So I looked at my backup, a home-built computer DVR that records standard broadcast definition shows which I've had for years. Nope, no luck there either. So definitely it has nothing to do with the piece of crap Motorola produced. After all, my creation is perfect. Ha ha.

I was so upset that I decided to research into this right away and let my dinner get cold on the table, despite the fact that I was hungry like a mofo. It turned out that the General Electric Peacock network, known to all as NBC, has done it again!

Back in May of 2006, with the ratings slipping on ER, the executives and decision makers at NBC decided to launch a new show The Black Donnellys in the same timeslot as ER on Thursdays during the Fall season. The two shows will timeshare and alternate each week, and depending on which show getting the higher rating, the loser will get the boot. That was understandable, as ER is now mostly a deadbeat show that has worn itself out. Even the diehard fans are losing interest. It is just a stagnant show, limping along on Thursday nights losing battle to shows on other networks.

Then a change occurred. The Black Donnellys's debut was postponed to March 5 (a Monday), and given four weeks to test out its weight after NBC decided to keep ER, a stagnant grandmother of a show, rolling. The Black Donnellys' timeslot would be right after the highly acclaimed Heroes, a move to keep huge audiences on NBC instead of flocking over to CBS's CSI: Miami, thereby temporarily putting Studio 60 on hold. It worked out great, as rumors have it that production of the $2 million an episode show was running behind schedule anyway.

On February 19, Studio 60 had a poor show of ratings, which caused the executives to make a rash decision to bump the date up a week for The Black Donnellys debut, knocking off into oblivion an already produced episode of Studio 60 ready for airing the Monday of February 26. The reason? NBC needed something to compete against CBS's untouchable CSI: Miami, and its patience with garnering and nurturing an audience for Studio 60 was running short, never mind the fact that it has a cult following that did not translate into astronomical Nielson rating.

My point? The Seinfeld Chronicles. Never heard of it? Well, that was the original title of the Seinfeld show when it first aired on NBC. It was funny and good, but the first season was considered a lackluster in terms of ratings; so much so that NBC tried to pawn it off to Fox, who subsequently declined. So NBC stuck it out, and looked what happened to Seinfeld. It went on to become one of the best and highest rated television shows!

Lesson here? The executives at NBC should learn a lesson or two on patience. I was pissed off last year when they dropped Conviction, a really good show that suffered poor ratings on Fridays. They never gave it a chance. And now, with just a cult following (myself included), Studio 60 looks like another smart and quality show that may get the axe. But it doesn't have to suffer such fate. If only the executives at the peacock network will exercise patience, and possibly move it to another timeslot in the week, there is a very good chance that Studio 60 may become a cash cow later on.

For now, I guess we'll have to settle for yet another violent television series that carries a light plot and is so generic in form that will really inspire our youth around the nation. Yeah, boys and girls, if you have an awesome opportunity to go to art school, just give that up and return to the mob life. That's what I call high hopes for America's youth.

An Anatomy of Grey's Anatomy

An Anatomy of Grey's Anatomy

One Sunday evening years ago, I was flipping through the channels in search of the brand new series House. For some reason I thought it was showing at 21:00 on Sunday, even though I very well knew that Fox Broadcasting broadcasts its nightly news at that hour in central time zone. Nonetheless, I thought I found the right channel, because there was this show with a bunch of people in medical coats. That must be it, the oft-talked show that has been generating buzz all week long.

An hour later, I was puzzled as all heck. Where was the bearded, gimpy doctor that all the critiques raved about? It turned out that I had just watched the pilot episode of Grey's Anatomy. Stranger yet, I actually liked this new show. Ever since that day, I have been watching Grey's Anatomy religiously. It is funny and catchy. I liked how Meredith Grey narrates throughout the show explaining the little meanings of life as she saw it through the experiences of her life and her friends', hence the title.

Although Grey's Anatomy was never my absolute number one favorite show, it was high up there on my list along with 24 and CSI. Of course now I don't watch CSI anymore due to last year's Thursday primetime shakeup.

Fast forward a couple years from 2005, a smooth 51 episodes later. I still like the show. Sure, it no longer has the same cachet as it carried in the first season. It still is funny at times, but it seems like they have shaken up the staff writers. Either that, or it could be possible that ABC guided the show's existing staff writers in a new direction after finding out that their audience comprised a significantly more proportion of young women than previously projected in target audience research. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that in the advent of character development and its intricate relationships, the show has evolved slightly into a medical drama version of Desperate Housewives. It is now an extremely girly show!

Of course, that didn't bother me a whole lot. At least not enough for me to completely dump the show. I just wonder now what will the staff writers do once all the characters have slept with each and every other characters. Will the producers bring more hot guest stars like they did with Chris O'Donnel last season?

In any case, let's get back to the point. Another reason why I liked this show outside of its artistic values is because it had very minimal product placement. Compare it to Seinfeld or Friends, Grey's Anatomy is the untainted virgin free of corporate product placement. Of course I don't consider medical equipment really a product placement when the premise of the show is set in a hospital setting. And GE has been good with not slapping their oversized brand icon on every medical equipment prop. In fact, I hardly ever see its brand at all, except during the closing credits.

Well, this virgin is no more. You, like I and many other fellow human beings, have gone to hospitals, clinics and doctors' offices countless of times. So why don't you think back of hospital and clinic surroundings as a reference? What do you remember most about the decors on such walls? For me, it has mostly been informational diagrams of certain anatomic parts, like the reproductive systems, lungs, etc. Sure, these posters were provided by the pharmaceutical companies. For example, there might be a huge poster showing the anatomies of both a healthy sinus and one that has severe allergies, with a small line at the very bottom indicating lightly that the poster was provided by Nasonex. In other words, minimal advertising in the hospitals due to doctors' code of ethics.

Where am I going with this? When I was catching up with Grey's Anatomy recently when I finally watched the "Wishin' and Hopin'" episode, something caught my eye that really disturbed me. I stopped the frame and looked hard. I dug deep into the recesses of my subconscious mind so that I may put a finger on it. Here is the frame I am talking about:

Notice anything strange? No? Look over Meredith's shoulder on her left (our right). Yeah, over there, the big blue sign. That extremely oversized image. I mean, look at it! It is just as big as that janitor's cart? Do you recognize the sign? I didn't initially. But it took me a long time to figure out. Since I'm not a woman, I know little about birth control. I mean, I know the medical concepts surrounding it and how they function in a woman's body depending on the general types. But I surely didn't know the popular brands out there. After much research, I finally found it!


Ring a bell? That thing on the show is a striking resemblance to a logo of a birth control device magnified hundredfold! Watch the regular advertisement on the air here.

Ugh!!! Grey's Anatomy has finally snuck in a huge product placement! The show is no longer pure, and it is a little bit upsetting. Now I just hope that the show is not going down a slippery hill and maintain its good qualities.

Do You Remember That?

Alternate Title: J-Ho's Top Three Super Bowl XLI Adverts.

Invariably, the day after Super Bowl Sunday at the "water cooler" always involves talking about two things: 1) The football game, and 2) The Super Bowl adverts. Well, I've covered the game already, so here's on to the adverts.

Was it just me, or did anybody else notice that there weren't any true standout adverts this year? Of course Pepsi, Coke and Bud Light were present, but surprisingly missing were Proctor & Gamble and Unilever. Even more surprising is the fact that Cargill and Flomax were present. It was especially disappointing that there were a lot of recycled, previously-ran adverts from some of the big players. What was up with that?

But what was truly sad is the 60 second spot dedicated to Revlon's "Not Fade Away." After that, I simply expected a Pearl tampon appearance from Tampax, or Maxi Pad adverts from Kotex. Luckily, neither happened.

Despite the lack of truly memorable adverts that I found appealing, there were some I thought were funny, which I subsequently liked. Here is J-Ho's Top Three favorite adverts of the evening.

1. "Live the Flavor" from Doritos—This advert is awesome! Sure, it is a little bit cheesy, but you've got to give it props considering it was made by five kids no older than 22 years old, shot in four days, for a total cost of $12.79. The awesomeness alone far overlooked the mere fact that this was a recycled advert that was previously shown.

(Official link here should the YouTube copy be taken down in the near future.)

2. "Not What It Seems" from FedEx Ground—This advert was clearly funny and memorable, despite the fact it employed low-key brain power for its humor.

(Official link here should the YouTube copy be taken down in the near future.)

3. "Classroom" by Bud Light—Okay, making fun of foreigners is old, not to mention a little bit culturally insensitive. But for being a foreigner myself, or semi-foreigner for that matter, I have all the power and ability to rate this as one of my favorites, because I can so totally relate!

(Official link here should the YouTube copy be taken down in the near future.)

Obviously it was really tough for me to come up with my own top three adverts, as there were some other ones I wish I could include. Hence, my Honorable Mentions below. These adverts deserve a second look or chance, and may very well have made the Top Three list should any of aforementioned adverts not aired.

<> "Chest Hair" from Snickers—Who doesn't enjoy a little bit of a Lady and the Tramp moment? The only reason why this was not in J-Ho's Top Three list is because it plays off of a sick, mental ailment among society at large: homophobia. This just furthers peoples' negative attitude towards gay people, when we should be moving forward out of bigotry.

(Official link here should the YouTube copy be taken down in the near future.)

<> "Clydesdale 'Spot'" from Budweiser—Yes, J-Ho can have a soft and sensitive side, and this advert totally appealed to that side. Touching and heartwarming, the only reason why this isn't in the Top Three list is because it wasn't manly enough, in terms of the context of the main attraction: Football.

(Official link here should the YouTube copy be taken down in the near future.)

Update 2007.01.05-16:51 : Ah, behold the power of the Internet. I finally found the "Clydesdale 'Spot'" commercial for Budweiser, thus the addition of the video to this blog. Enjoy!

Super Bowl XLI was Lost...

Like many other Chicagoans, I am sad and disappointed that the Bears lost, despite the explosive first five minutes of the game. But unlike many other Chicagoans, I am also glad that the Colts won. Not because I'm not a Chicago Bears fan, but because above all, I am a sports fan who believes in sportsmanship.

It is very unfortunate that the Bears' defense against the Colts' running game was lackluster, along with the many failed attempts to blitz Peyton Manning. We sacked Manning just once! Equally as unfortunate is the poor showing from the Bears' offensive squad. Grossman did not step up to the plate and perform the best he could. And it is sad that Benson had an early injury, for I am sure our offensive running game could have been just as charged as the game against the Saints was he there along with Jones.

Although my desire was for the Bears to win all the way, it is just a disappointment that we didn't do a good job playing the game. Five turnovers? Horrible snaps? Our performance today pretty much amounted to the Colts deserving the win. Fair and squarely.

Now, before you lambaste me as a heretic, let me explain simply why I said what I said. My coaches have always taught me to play strong and clean, earn and give respect. And if the opposing team won the game because of our own substandard, then go over and congratulate them as they deserved the title. The title, whether it be the Super Bowl (although I was never a football player in the NFL) or some regional championship, is something to be earned. It is not something trivial, or easily received. And our performance today showed that we did play to our best abilities. But that's not to say that there is a lack of desire or passion in each of the Bears players' hearts. I am sure they all wanted the prize just as much as I did, possibly more.

All I'm saying is I'm such a fan of sports and sportsmanship that I'm magnanimous enough to understand that I cannot be upset or bitter simply because we lost. You have to frame the whole context in the bigger picture, because like all unbiased referees say before all games to the team captains: "May the best team win." And Dungy, Manning and Co. definitely proved us today that their team was the best this evening.

On an almost unrelated note, I threw my first Super Bowl party this year. It was a smashing success. But I seriously overestimated the power of my 12 friends' drinking and eating abilities. Of the 36 cans of Miller Lite, we only made a tiny dent by putting away a dozen. And of the three large pizzas I ordered, I have half of all that left. To my friends' credit, they did bring their own alcohol despite my indication that I would provide the beer. I guess I'm in the minority who enjoys Miller Lite. And also to their credit, I made too much hors d'oeuvre. Assorted vegetable tray, cold meat cuts, baked taquitos, chicken tenders, chips and salsa and guacamole, cashews and honey roasted nuts. What can I say? I love to make food and entertain.

Now I just have to find the room and will to eat pizza, taquitos and chicken tenders for lunch and dinner for the next two weeks. Not to mention putting away a huge case of Miller Lite and dozens of assorted girly drinks* in my fridge. =)

* By girly drinks, I mean the following: Bacardi Silver RAZ, Smirnoff Ice, Pumpkin Ale, Mike's Hard Lemonade, Mike's Light Hard Lemonade (especially this, with only two grams of carbs), Cider Jack, Bud Light, Rolling Rock and Tommyknocker ButtHead. Okay, maybe the last two aren't exacly girly drinks, but like the others, the girls brought them. ;-)

What I want for my birthday!

Considering that my birthday has just passed, I've got my eyes set for the gift people should get for my birthday next year. I want the Swedish self-cleaning toilet!



Of course, if it is too pricey for my friends to buy me this neat gadget, I'll be more than happy to settle for a two-in-one gift: a pet kitty and its amazing talent.

Suddenly Sick to My Stomach

So tonight was the fourth episode of that new show, Dirt, on FX Networks. It should not be to anyone's surprise that their original shows usually are rated for mature audience, and its topics or storylines tend to shock: Perfect juicy gossip material for those office water cooler discussions.

Well, having watched a few episodes, nothing has shocked me. After all, I am desensitized from all the shockers since I started watching Nip/Tuck, another perfectly fine and quality entertainment from Rupert's conglomerate. LOL But tonight, I was shocked. Lucy, the character played by Courteney Cox, used a vibrator.

Notice the lack of an exclamation mark on that last sentence. Obviously the vibrator thing was not the shocker. It came out on the previous episode, which didn't shock me at all. What was so appalling was the fact that after Lucy's mother called while Lucy was having a jolly good time with the vibrator, she just tossed the toy in the drawer in the nightstand and slid it shut!

I know I can be a clean freak sometimes, but, uhm, if I was a girl, I would think I would go and rinse my vibrator in running hot water before "storing" it away. Gross! Yuck! Of course, one could argue that the character was wearing some sort of panties underneath the lingerie while using it, but experience indicates otherwise.

As if that wasn't enough to make me fall ill suddenly, another shocker had to surface. In between a commercial break and using the loo, I looked at something as I usually do. Just for the hell of it. I noticed some specific information around 22:43, but didn't think much of it. It wasn't until I went back to the living room and perhaps two minutes into the show's resumption did my world come crashing down. HARD. In an instant.

Yes, my balloon was popped. It rained on my parade. Whatever cliché you can find and attach to my frame of mind, that will work.

Was I too forward? Did I reveal too much of my honest feelings? Should I have played the game? I hate engaging in games, especially those kinds of games. I never do. Now it's all over again. I felt just as good as the day I found out about guy number three. Even though what I fear the most has not happened yet in this case. But all indications in aggregate along with that missing link discovered at 22:43 point to what I fear the most.

Great! Whatever happened to honesty? Insomnia, here I come. Again.