Special Day Today?!?

For the most part, I consider myself well-versed and quite literate in the English language. At times, better than the average American who was born and raised here, I suspect. I don't claim, however, to know everything. That is why I enjoy learning new vocabularies from either the Readers' Digest magazines, or occasionally a new word once a month or week while reading the news.

Well, today must be my special lucky day! Why? Because in a matter of less than two hours, I came across two words that I had no idea what they meant! The first one I couldn't even guess from the context, and the second one I was semi-correct, thanks to the Merriam Webster Dictionary.

Do you know what egress means? How about hubris?

If I come across another word I don't understand today, I swear I'll stop reading the news for the rest of the day, or I'll just throw in the towel, stand up on the desk of my cubicle, and scream, "I, John of Taipei, am a stupid, dumb f*ck!"

Or maybe not...



Egress (noun): 1) the action or right of going or coming out; 2) a place or means of going out.
Hubris (noun): exaggerated pride or self-confidence.

[Note: Can you imagine if the signs in our buildings read EGRESS/SALIDAS? I would be tempted to think that both words were Mexican!]

[Double-note: I didn't write Spanish on purpose, cos I thought it would be funny to use Mexican as its own language.]

Ploper Engrish from SFBs

We're all immigrants, be it Americans who have lived here for a few generations, or like me, first generation American. But there is a dividing line, which its distinction is kind of hard to tell. You'll never see a stronger shade of gray in this regard.

If you recall from one of my previous writings, there is this term called FOB, which stands for Fresh Off the Boat. For starters, you can say anybody who just immigrated to this country within six months qualify as being fresh off the boat. But then, the term is typically equally applied to anyone who have been an immigrant to America for years yet somehow managed to still have no command of the English language, much less any kind of a grasp on the American culture. So yeah, simply using the number of years one have been an immigrant is not exactly a clear, definitive distinction between one who is fresh off the boat and one who has been an SFB.

The whole point of this writing is not to rant about FOBs, much less delve much into those who fall into the FOB category. I want to pay attention to those who belong to the SFB camp. What is SFB, you ask? Well, it is definitely not a term you'd find on Urban Dictionary, as it is something I just made up impromptu on this long flight to Seattle. It simply is an acronym standing for Stale Former Boaters. =)

You see, although people like some of my friends and me have been Americans for quite some time, we do at one point or another hit the roadblock while commanding the English language. Cases in point...

While having a happy hour after work earlier in the summer, a few friends of mine and I were all catching up on each others' lives. Cesar (American Mexican) was teasing his wife Sabine (French American) relentlessly, which caused her to cry out, "Take a pill chill!" Needless to say, she opened the gates allowing us to forever tease her with that saying whenever the occasion arises.

And then my other friend Erin (Japanese American) would at times accidentally say "cheap steak" instead of "cheap skate." Although it wasn't her mistake to begin with, she caught the bug when her friend from back home would always misuse that phrase.

Finally, we have Rosa (Salvadorian American, as best as I could tell, because for all we know, she could be an entirely new breed). Whenever she gets excited, her English will decline exponentially, especially when she starts talking real fast. And the best part of it all? I can totally wind her up easily, as she has so many buttons at my disposal to push on. Just last night, when we were talking about her nasty, stinkin' foot injury, she theorized about how "hair dog" got into the crack of her heel. And best of all, she said that twice!

At first glance, any stranger who overhears us will recognize instantly (at least I hope) that we have a pretty strong command of the English language. But hang out with us Stale Former Boaters long enough and you will slowly catch us saying silly things here and there.

Since I ratted out a little bit on my friends, I suppose it is only fair that I reveal at least a common slip up I frequently say. I tend to mix up the word "sheet" and "shit" frequently when conversing verbally. And you can thank my upbringing for that, as I learned "shit" from friends way before someone taught me what a "sheet" is. And it has stuck ever since. Of course, this is not counting the frequent "yet" incident I often have with my good friend Shannon. =)