The Mile High Club

[Note: I originally wrote this blog on the plane a long time ago, and never publised it. While cleaning up my laptop before I return it to IBM, I discovered this somewhat dated material. Why waste it, right? So here you go...]

Ever since my college friend's then-boyfriend bragged about getting it on with her while on a plane, I have always wondered about what it would be like to join the ranks of the famous rockers of years past, and the elite few who were able to do the nearly impossible.

As someone who is totally afraid of germs and getting sick, I try my utmost best not to use the lavatory on planes other than to take a piss. But in all of my travels, nearly twice a week domestically for the last six and a half years and a few international flights scattered in, I have only taken a big ol' dump on the plane just once. It was out of sheer desperation, for otherwise I would never allow myself such nastiness. And given that it was a newer Boeing 737-700 with the redesigned lavatories affording bigger space, I still managed to have a near impossible time bending my torso and navigating myself in a lavatory just to take a dump. By myself.

Yeah, you can say that I'm a very curious person. And I, too, covet that honorary medal of the mile high club. But given the logistic of things, namely the physics of two bodies thrusting in synchronization, I thought it was practically impossible. Hell, I was bumping walls and knocking my elbows and knees just to get my pants down to shit! Unless, of course, you charter one of those specialty flights I once blogged about. (Click on the link to read the story.)

Then, my sliver of a dream finally came true, with the Airbus A380. If you're not familiar with at least commercial aviation, I pity you the ignorant. ;-) Anyway, the Airbus A380 is the newest largest plane to navigate our skies, taking the trophy away from the venerable Boeing 787. Originally, nobody thought the plane would ever fly, fearing that no airline will purchase one, and no airport will want to accommodate such monstrosity. After all, it is a double-decker plane!!!

Well, Singapore Airlines became the first airline to take flight with its new aircraft. It is also one of the first to reveal its cabin configuration, something which is considered almost a trade secret among airlines when it comes to seating capacity, arrangement, and the sorts before flying its new fleet of new model planes.

I was rather pleased to learn that Singapore Airlines will be the first airline ever to provide a cabin with a double bed! Aha! So there is still a way of being inducted into the Mile High Club. Yes, my dream continues to live! Just as long as I earn enough money to pay for something like that, seeing how my bare inability to pay even coach fare when traveling abroad even now.

And the best parts of it all? It's not like one of those semi-private partitions where fellow passengers can see you when they stand up, but a real room with walls! And to put the final cherry on that cake, endless champagne is included. Sounds like one of those all-inclusive resorts in Mexico to me, except in the air!!!

Of course, all good things, or imaginations, must come to a crashing end. Times of London had this to report in its article on the new double bed cabin:
"A380 may have the world's first airborne double bed, but it won't be put to the obvious use if Singapore Airlines has its way." (Note: I added the emphasis.)

Of course, Singapore Airlines spokesperson Stephen Forshaw had this to say about the potential hanky panky after Singapore Airlines' inaugural Airbus A380 flight:
"If couples used our double beds to engage in inappropriate activity, we would politely ask them to desist."

Damn!

What a perfect waste of unlimited champagne. =)