Halloween Pub Crawl Costume Dilemma

I suppose I've been more concerned with running the past half of the year that I really haven't given much thought on anything else as far as personal fun goes. After the Chicago Marathon on October 7, my mind was immediately set on the Nike Women's Half Marathon come this Sunday, October 21. And I can tell you that I won't be setting any personal records there, especially with the famed hills and the recovery time I'm still in.

Of course, my friend Maria asked me just the other day what costume I'd be wearing for the Halloween Pub Crawl, assuming that I would go. I guess her assumption was well placed, considering that I do enjoy dressing up and drinking like a fish. Once in a while, of course. Right then and there, I was suddenly stricken with a million dollar question, with barely enough time to plan since the pub crawl is on October 28!

Oh shit!

Well, this morning I thought my prayers were answered when I saw something in my Inbox with the following subject: Get inspired to build a geeky Halloween costume! I work in a geeky field, so I might try to be a super geek! I read through the email real quick while I got ready for work, and I thought it was a novel idea to be a walking, real Pac-Man arcade machine. All the while, I was thinking the costume was a play on words, with something of a sexual innuendo. I was going to be that this Halloween Pub Crawl.

Of course, when I returned to my hotel after work and dinner with friends, I decided to open the link. OMG! It is a real Pac-Man game with a freaking controller! A quick see-through of the "ingredients" needed revealed that you have to be someone who can freaking build a moving robot to assemble a home-made arcade game as a freaking costume. Worst of all? You have to wear a freaking laptop!

If time was on my side, and if I'm remotely good with doing anything electronic, I might be tempted to follow through with this idea. But simply put, I'm a practical man. A very practical man. The first thought that jumped to my mind when I saw a picture of the poor fella who created and wore this geek machine was: How the hell do you pee in urinals?!? As someone who thinks and plans ahead a lot and well experienced in pub crawling, easy access to urinals and easy way to relief myself is second nature to me like the fight-or-flight-reaction instilled in our human brain.

Who creates a monstrosity that will add burden to your pee routine? If it wasn't so freaking gay for a guy to wear a skirt, I'd pick any costume that involves skirts for Halloween just for the sake of being able pee with great ease that is a time-saver. I mean, who wants to neglect that frosty bottle of brewsky and drink warm beer? Definitely not yours truly.

Back to the drawing board I go again...