I'm Moving to Memphis! Buying a House With a HUGE Front Yard!

So I decided on a whim today to sell my condominium here in Chicago, pack up my shit, and just move on down to Tennessee. Memphis, to be precise. And I'm looking for a house with the biggest front yard there possibly can be had. Preferably with a nice front porch with a great view overlooking said yard. I know I hate doing yard work, let alone lawn mowing, but it is not gonna matter in Memphis.

Why? About twice a month, I'll just make myself a nice, spiked pitcher of lemonade, pull on some bad ass looking sunglasses, and lounge out on the porch. And watch other people do my lawn. To be precise, the fine employees of Tiger Time Lawn Care business!

I almost shat my trousers when I read the news about Tiger Time lawn Care... And I was definitely paying attention when I watched the news clip from WMC-TV Memphis! Just watch the news below for yourself!!!


After all, who wouldn't mind watching a little bit of this?


Seriously though... Who the hell rides a lawn mower while squeezing her boobs together?!?