Spanish Inquisition
I just got off the phone with my parents. I haven't spoken to them in almost three weeks. But it wasn't entirely my fault, you see, because I didn't know they took a couple weeks off to do some vacationing. And of course, despite the fact that I have had my current email address since 1999, my dad always seem to send me emails to my MSN account, which is used only for chatting online with my parents, while the email feature is blocked. Never mind the fact that I have told him for the better part of the last three years to get his address book updated. Aarrgghh!
So anyway, it was quite inevitable that the subject of a steady girl came up. While I was on the phone with my dad, he didn't want to rile up my mom so he broached the subject by asking, "Do you have a friend yet?" (Note, the underlined part was in English, whereas the rest of his question was in Mandarin.) I replied to his question with a question, "What do you mean by friend; I have lots of friends," knowing full well what he meant. Then my dad complained about how he couldn't hear me.
The next thing I know, my mom was talking. The first words out of her mouth? "You know, 30 is a good age to get married." What the... "How come you don't have a girlfriend yet?"
Great, here comes the Chinese Inquisition. Again. Maybe I should have waited another week before deciding to give them a buzz.
As I failed to make them understand that I had to work weekends on this project, I simply started thinking about that Spice Girls song. I think it's called either Be My Lover or Wannabe. Whatever the title is, I began mouthing the words: "So tell me what you want, what you really really want." And before I could restrain myself, I found myself asking her, "So what do you really want? A wife or a baby?"
Of course, in her excitement, she revealed that she wanted a grand kid. But instead of telling her that Szu and her husband have been trying this year, I simply responded, "Well, in that case, I can make it happen without a wife. All I need is to give up something to protect me (as I didn't know the Mandarin word for protection as a noun), and you will have a baby in nine months or so. But you have to be willing to put up with some random girl whose beauty may be questionable to you."
My mom obviously got embarrassed, and laughed it off. All of a sudden, instead of wanting a grand kid, she decided that she wanted me to have a proper wife.
Sigh... Any takers out there? This will purely be a matter of practicality just so I can get my parents off of my back. I'll even pay you! I'll even be willing to lie to my parents that I shoot blanks! Please, someone put me out of my misery.
Zigazig ha!
So anyway, it was quite inevitable that the subject of a steady girl came up. While I was on the phone with my dad, he didn't want to rile up my mom so he broached the subject by asking, "Do you have a friend yet?" (Note, the underlined part was in English, whereas the rest of his question was in Mandarin.) I replied to his question with a question, "What do you mean by friend; I have lots of friends," knowing full well what he meant. Then my dad complained about how he couldn't hear me.
The next thing I know, my mom was talking. The first words out of her mouth? "You know, 30 is a good age to get married." What the... "How come you don't have a girlfriend yet?"
Great, here comes the Chinese Inquisition. Again. Maybe I should have waited another week before deciding to give them a buzz.
As I failed to make them understand that I had to work weekends on this project, I simply started thinking about that Spice Girls song. I think it's called either Be My Lover or Wannabe. Whatever the title is, I began mouthing the words: "So tell me what you want, what you really really want." And before I could restrain myself, I found myself asking her, "So what do you really want? A wife or a baby?"
Of course, in her excitement, she revealed that she wanted a grand kid. But instead of telling her that Szu and her husband have been trying this year, I simply responded, "Well, in that case, I can make it happen without a wife. All I need is to give up something to protect me (as I didn't know the Mandarin word for protection as a noun), and you will have a baby in nine months or so. But you have to be willing to put up with some random girl whose beauty may be questionable to you."
My mom obviously got embarrassed, and laughed it off. All of a sudden, instead of wanting a grand kid, she decided that she wanted me to have a proper wife.
Sigh... Any takers out there? This will purely be a matter of practicality just so I can get my parents off of my back. I'll even pay you! I'll even be willing to lie to my parents that I shoot blanks! Please, someone put me out of my misery.
Zigazig ha!
posted by StHalcyon at
01:58
1 Comments:
LOLs, your parents remind me of my own! I, too, have overexhausted the "I have many friends" reply. Now, it's "oh, he's like an older brother"!
Haha, I alwys get a kick out of teasing my mom by saying that I don’t plan on getting married. She knows I’m joking, but it still makes her nervous 'course. When I was in high school, I used to torment her by claiming that I intended to have children by going to a sperm bank. My mom says I better watch what I say or karma is gonna get me and I’ll have smart-mouthed brats like me for kids who'll take pleasure in torturing their mother. And, of course, she's right...as mothers usually are.
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