Brisky Brisky

So this happened last week, and I simply did not have the time to write about it. But now that I do kind of have some free time, here it is.

You know you haven't gotten enough sleep when you start doing strange things. You know, the usual day-to-day activities should be the easiest one to remember. Or you would think. But it all started on Sunday, February 24.

A few of my friends called and wanted to use my condo as their movie theatre, and hang out. So I told them that they were more than welcome to head over to my place and watch a movie and have dinner together. Well, it turned out that we ate lots of good food, drank two bottles of wine, and watched not just one movie, but two in a row!!!

Granted, I did have fun hanging out with my friends, but that completely threw out my plans to get a good night's sleep for Monday morning. You see, ever since I began working out with a personal trainer, I have yet to arrive at the gym on time. The best that I have done so far was arriving four minutes late. Thankfully though, I have never been more than 10 minutes late before. So anyway, my personal training days are on Mondays and Thursdays.

I was so tired on that Sunday evening by the time I kicked out my guests that I began to experience weird delirious moments. It started out with brushing my teeth before flossing. When it happened, I simply chuckled and thought nothing of it, as I have probably done that before.

As I headed to bed, I went into the kitchen in the dark to take my daily pills. No, I am not taking birth control pills, thank you very much. The ones I take every night is for my asthma, and the ones I take every morning is for my allergies. But my mind was in a hurry to shut itself down for the night, so I quickly took my pill. As I hit the sack, I realized that I had taken my allergy pill instead of my asthma! Damn!!!

Of course by this time, I was worried about what would happen to me if I had taken two 24 hour pills in a matter of 12 hours. But soon enough, I wasn't too terribly worried about overdosing, since I didn't swallow the entire bottle's contents.

I woke up the next morning, on a Monday, and began getting ready for the gym. As usual, I went to the bathroom to drop the kids off at the pool. It's kind of funny, as before I started my job here in Chicago, my number two routine had always occurred in the afternoon, but ever since I starting my new job and going to the gym, I had somehow miraculously moved my bowel movement's schedule into the 06:30 timeframe. Actually, I'm secretly proud of that fact. Anyway, the only reason why I did that was because early on in my first few training sessions with my personal trainer, I found it hard to pump irons or being stretched out while trying to hold shit or gas in. Thankfully, during the first couple times, no extra pockets of air escaped me.

Anyway, on Monday morning, I went to drop the kids off at the pool as usual. As I pulled my boxers down and bent my torso to get myself situated on the bathroom, I accidentally sunk into my toilet. F*ck!!! I had totally forgotten to put the toilet seat down. If there is anything I hate more than when male guests accidentally peeing over my toilet seat, it is getting my nut sack and ass cheeks wet by falling into the toilet bowl.

So apparently, last week was just not meant for me at all whatsoever. But wait, it even gets better!

When I arrived at the gym, I started to unpack my gym back so that when I was done with the workout, I can just hop in the shower without going through my bag for the facial scrub, sandals, towels, et cetera. As I was going through my bag, I realized that the night before I had totally forgot to pack a boxer!!! For a brief moment, I thought about just calling it a day and cancelling my workout session and heading home. But thankfully, I did think about the cold weather the night before and packed a pair of Patagonia technical tights for the day. I often use it as a long underwear during days of extreme wind and cold. So I decided maybe I would go pseudo commando for that day, considering that the tights were snugly enough that it could very well keep my carrot and acorns in check.

As if God didn't have enough material to humor me for that day, I went to the showers after my workout and began my usual routine. But instead of putting my facial scrub stuff in my hands and washing my face first, I somehow began washing my hair with it! Damn!!! The funny thing was that this had actually happened to me a couple times in the past when I was tired also...

As I walked my way to work in the cold shearing wind from my parking garage, I felt a sudden brisky brisky sensation in my crotch. Yup! It must be the commando effect! So much for having a great start to the day and week, I thought to myself...