GDMFSOB!!!
Well, as happy and excited as I was with my first ever participation in a national vote in February 5, I am now just as pissed in the polar opposite! You see, the privilege of being a registered voter includes the privilege of getting summoned for jury duty.
The summons indicated for me to call today after 16:30 to check and see if I really do need to go tomorrow for my summons, and wouldn't you know it? Those who are fortunate enough to have their last names begin with "the letter B as in Bravo through M as in Mike" indeed are summoned to appear tomorrow morning.
Son of a...!!!
At first, I thought maybe I can not show up and just say that in Chinese cultures, my American middle name is technically my last name in Mandarin, but I suspect that if I follow through with that plan, I might end up with a pretty warrant out in my name.
Then I thought about showing up in court with one of those Halloween props where I would have this butcher knife lodged squarely in my head with fake blood dripping down either sides of my temples, but I was warned that the court police officers or whoever they are do not take kindly (or gently, for that matter) to such acts of bravado.
In the end, I just realized that perhaps the best thing to do is simply grumble and mumble in disgust and speak some French as fluently as possible while I come to terms of my fate tomorrow.
Although I have never been summoned for jury duty before, I suspect that my day will be filled with boredom that perhaps I ought to bring with me a copy of the USA Today, Chicago Tribune, a novel, and some trashy celebrity gossip magazines. Somehow I suspect that the possession of porn magazines or my Internet-enabled cellular phone is highly discouraged, if not frowned upon.
God, tomorrow is going to suck so bad! Never has civic duty sound and feel as exciting as watching paint dry...
If you don't hear from me by the end of the day tomorrow, send help. Look for an Asian man in the Richard J Daley Center courthouse with an overgrown moustache and mold/mushroom growing out of his ass.
The summons indicated for me to call today after 16:30 to check and see if I really do need to go tomorrow for my summons, and wouldn't you know it? Those who are fortunate enough to have their last names begin with "the letter B as in Bravo through M as in Mike" indeed are summoned to appear tomorrow morning.
Son of a...!!!
At first, I thought maybe I can not show up and just say that in Chinese cultures, my American middle name is technically my last name in Mandarin, but I suspect that if I follow through with that plan, I might end up with a pretty warrant out in my name.
Then I thought about showing up in court with one of those Halloween props where I would have this butcher knife lodged squarely in my head with fake blood dripping down either sides of my temples, but I was warned that the court police officers or whoever they are do not take kindly (or gently, for that matter) to such acts of bravado.
In the end, I just realized that perhaps the best thing to do is simply grumble and mumble in disgust and speak some French as fluently as possible while I come to terms of my fate tomorrow.
Although I have never been summoned for jury duty before, I suspect that my day will be filled with boredom that perhaps I ought to bring with me a copy of the USA Today, Chicago Tribune, a novel, and some trashy celebrity gossip magazines. Somehow I suspect that the possession of porn magazines or my Internet-enabled cellular phone is highly discouraged, if not frowned upon.
God, tomorrow is going to suck so bad! Never has civic duty sound and feel as exciting as watching paint dry...
If you don't hear from me by the end of the day tomorrow, send help. Look for an Asian man in the Richard J Daley Center courthouse with an overgrown moustache and mold/mushroom growing out of his ass.
Labels: civic duty, jury duty, life
posted by StHalcyon at
17:23
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