Cheap Thrills to Amuse Myself
I travel fairly frequently for my job. Most of the time, I enjoy it, and at other times, not so much. I actually prefer flying out of town to driving an hour to work. But oft times, my travels are non-eventful and deadly boring. So I would have to find things to amuse myself.
Like today. Like right now while I'm writing this on the plane.
Since 9/11, the Federal Aviation Authority have imposed a fairly simple rule on air travel, among other complicated ones. This particular rule I'm referring to is the ban on loitering around in the forward alley of the plane, or forming a line while waiting for the lavatory in the front galley. I suppose that is to prevent would-be terrorists from pep-rallying at the footsteps to the only entrance to the cockpit. I think that is a good rule.
For almost six years, I have heard that rule announced time after time after time. But some people just don't get it. Like the two people who actually came up to wait in line for the lavatory. As I sat here and observed them, I debated in my mind if I should remind them of the rule announced once before takeoff, and again once the captained turned off the "fasten seatbelt" sign.. If I did, they might retort with, "Who are you, the airline police?" So not wanting to come off as a busybody, I stayed mum. Besides, watching the flight attendant chew their asses out would be interesting.
Of course, this time, the two people formed a line when all the flight attendants were in the back of the plane. One of them appeared to know the rule, as she fidgeted nervously and looked around trying to make sure she won't get caught like a naughty kid in grade school who would squirm knowing his own guilt when the teacher demanded, "Who threw that spitball at Julie?"
Before a couple minutes, a lazy flight attendant decided to remind them of the rules over the public announcement system. "Per FAA rules and regulations, passengers are not permitted to form a line in the forward galley. If you need to use the lavatory, you can wait in the back of the plane." The woman who was acting all guilty realized she had just been busted, so she started to return to her seat. But she found an empty seat in the first row, so she decided to wait while temporarily while occupying the seat termporarily.
The other woman, however, looked around, and thought she could outsmart the flight attendant. I imagined her thought to go like this: I don't see the flight attendant up here, and I don't see one back there in plain sight. I'll pull a fast one on them. No one will be wiser. So she stepped into the curtailed area where people board the plane, where a partitioned wall separates the first row seat from the entryway.
It wasn't seconds later when the announcement system crackled back on with a similar warning. It was obvious the message, while addressed to the entire plane, was really meant for that girl hiding up here. Still, she didn't budge.
Thump, thump, thump, thump. Uh oh, here came the flight attendant.
He finally confronted this woman, and politely asked her to return to her seat, while swinging his arm in big waves like an annoyed high school kid being forced to volunteer as an usher at the local theatre by his parents. And the funny part of this whole thing happened. She actually pleaded her case with him, as to why she absolutely had to wait up there. Again, his arm swung around, ending with his palm facing up, fingers pointed at some random seat in the back. I laughed so hard inside, wondering why she was so dumb to even argue once she was caught.
Then there was this woman sitting next to me. Hey lady. If you're reading this, mind your own bee's wax! Would you like it if I leaned over and read your newspaper? I would venture far enough to say that she probably had a rough day. She's a traveling businessperson, much like myself, and she ordered alcoholic drinks. So far, she has had four gin and tonic drinks. Hey, I'm not here to judge. Whatever hell she went through while in Los Angeles, I'm sure the alcoholic deserved them. But she would open up her purse and pay with pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters!!! The first drink was paid with so many coins that she had to hand them over to the flight attendant with two hands! What the...? And so it went on like that, till the fourth drink when she actually paid with more quarters than the smaller denominational coins.
That didn't bother me at all, but I could only imagine what was going through the flight attendant's mind. I would have done the same too, as I absolutely hate carrying coins. So much so that I just chuck them into my laptop case. That's why I can't ever sneak up on people when I've got my bag strapped on, as all that jingling would give me away like a wind chime.
Ah, the things that I find amusing. Yes, I'm a weird person. Now I just hope the guy in the lavatory would pee all over himself we're suddenly bouncing around in this sudden, unexpected turbulence. Evil me!
Like today. Like right now while I'm writing this on the plane.
Since 9/11, the Federal Aviation Authority have imposed a fairly simple rule on air travel, among other complicated ones. This particular rule I'm referring to is the ban on loitering around in the forward alley of the plane, or forming a line while waiting for the lavatory in the front galley. I suppose that is to prevent would-be terrorists from pep-rallying at the footsteps to the only entrance to the cockpit. I think that is a good rule.
For almost six years, I have heard that rule announced time after time after time. But some people just don't get it. Like the two people who actually came up to wait in line for the lavatory. As I sat here and observed them, I debated in my mind if I should remind them of the rule announced once before takeoff, and again once the captained turned off the "fasten seatbelt" sign.. If I did, they might retort with, "Who are you, the airline police?" So not wanting to come off as a busybody, I stayed mum. Besides, watching the flight attendant chew their asses out would be interesting.
Of course, this time, the two people formed a line when all the flight attendants were in the back of the plane. One of them appeared to know the rule, as she fidgeted nervously and looked around trying to make sure she won't get caught like a naughty kid in grade school who would squirm knowing his own guilt when the teacher demanded, "Who threw that spitball at Julie?"
Before a couple minutes, a lazy flight attendant decided to remind them of the rules over the public announcement system. "Per FAA rules and regulations, passengers are not permitted to form a line in the forward galley. If you need to use the lavatory, you can wait in the back of the plane." The woman who was acting all guilty realized she had just been busted, so she started to return to her seat. But she found an empty seat in the first row, so she decided to wait while temporarily while occupying the seat termporarily.
The other woman, however, looked around, and thought she could outsmart the flight attendant. I imagined her thought to go like this: I don't see the flight attendant up here, and I don't see one back there in plain sight. I'll pull a fast one on them. No one will be wiser. So she stepped into the curtailed area where people board the plane, where a partitioned wall separates the first row seat from the entryway.
It wasn't seconds later when the announcement system crackled back on with a similar warning. It was obvious the message, while addressed to the entire plane, was really meant for that girl hiding up here. Still, she didn't budge.
Thump, thump, thump, thump. Uh oh, here came the flight attendant.
He finally confronted this woman, and politely asked her to return to her seat, while swinging his arm in big waves like an annoyed high school kid being forced to volunteer as an usher at the local theatre by his parents. And the funny part of this whole thing happened. She actually pleaded her case with him, as to why she absolutely had to wait up there. Again, his arm swung around, ending with his palm facing up, fingers pointed at some random seat in the back. I laughed so hard inside, wondering why she was so dumb to even argue once she was caught.
Then there was this woman sitting next to me. Hey lady. If you're reading this, mind your own bee's wax! Would you like it if I leaned over and read your newspaper? I would venture far enough to say that she probably had a rough day. She's a traveling businessperson, much like myself, and she ordered alcoholic drinks. So far, she has had four gin and tonic drinks. Hey, I'm not here to judge. Whatever hell she went through while in Los Angeles, I'm sure the alcoholic deserved them. But she would open up her purse and pay with pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters!!! The first drink was paid with so many coins that she had to hand them over to the flight attendant with two hands! What the...? And so it went on like that, till the fourth drink when she actually paid with more quarters than the smaller denominational coins.
That didn't bother me at all, but I could only imagine what was going through the flight attendant's mind. I would have done the same too, as I absolutely hate carrying coins. So much so that I just chuck them into my laptop case. That's why I can't ever sneak up on people when I've got my bag strapped on, as all that jingling would give me away like a wind chime.
Ah, the things that I find amusing. Yes, I'm a weird person. Now I just hope the guy in the lavatory would pee all over himself we're suddenly bouncing around in this sudden, unexpected turbulence. Evil me!
posted by StHalcyon at
21:46
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