The Impossibles

I have mentioned on more than one occasion previously that I do a lot of my deepest personal and sometimes useless thinking while in the shower. I think the really hot water running from the top of my head down my back has some tingling effect on my thought process. Anyway, so this morning is no different than any other thought provoking morning showers. Well, except I was stumped on one thing, which really is beside the point.*

The deep thought for the day? The impossibles: Why does John go after impossible women?

There was the extreme bible thumper.
The ones who were psycho and really shouldn't be in any serious relationship. Sadly, I didn't learn my lesson in that department, for there were a couple of those.
The one who I knew had a timetable to move to Phoenix. I can't really blame her, as it was something I fully supported: education.
The ones who were extremely insecure. What a drain on relationships that was.
The total player who has a fear of commitment. Yes, girls can be players too. And there are just as many of them as there are guys.
Lest we forget, the ones who are from out of town. Granted, those who fall into the final category is rare. The last out of town girl I dated was Mariola last year in New York City.

So what prompted me to have such deep thoughts on this subject? I mean, I have not been dating or seeing anyone since summertime. And I don't count first dates that remained just that as dating; more like an interview process, if you will. Sorry, I digress. The reason for the morning thought is that I met this one girl while I was out of town some months ago. Great personality, funny, and really cute to boot.

Anyway, we have been sort of or kind of keeping in touch with each other. I was thinking about asking her to come up for the New Year to celebrate New Year's Chicago style with my friends. Although, come to think of it, one of them already has a boyfriend, so it's going to be a bit strange now that not everyone is single.

But anyway, there is this ski trip this coming weekend. There was some kind of a miscommunication between me and the person who is setting up the huge trip. In an email a while ago, I asked two questions about the trip, with one question being if I can get a refund for a spot. Back in the summer, I reserved and paid for four spots, but a friend bailed out a couple weeks after payment. And I thought his reply on the refund question was yes. But he recently sent out a condo assignment for the nearly 300 people going on this Steamboat trip showed my condo filled with Chris, Amber, John and John's friend. Oops. His "yes" response was in regards to my second question in that same email, not the refund question. Damn!

Then I thought, why ask this girl to come up for the New Year when I can invite her to Steamboat instead? So I did, but she already had plans to go visit family. But now I am beginning to realize that it was perhaps a bad decision on my part. Reason being that the invite came up just days before the trip. Now I wonder if perhaps she thinks she was just an afterthought for me. I know some of my friends in such situations would think like that and get all depressed or whatever, like "he only asked me because nobody else could go." Granted, I shouldn't base my thinking on the experiences of some of my female friends' personal lives and their own relationships.

So now I'm beating myself up (mentally) for even asking this girl to Steamboat in the first place. But then again, the bigger issue is, why do I like girls who are the impossibles? The psychos, insecure, or players are understandably people I really need to stay away from for sure. But the others? Am I making bad decisions in who I get attracted to?

I don't know. But I just wanted to bla bla about my deep thoughts this morning. And perhaps a good friend of mine who is currently going through a rough time with her boy is bringing the topic of relationships to the forefront of my mind. Damn, I think too much.


* When water goes down the drain, it doesn't just always swirl in the same direction depending on which hemisphere you're in. I was able to observe that sometimes it goes clockwise, and sometimes counterclockwise.