Rape me in the ass!!!
Remember my Chitown Badge of Honor? That night I thought the $25 parking violation ticket was kind of funny, considering that I have dodged violation citations from the city of Chicago for over two years. But tonight, as I prepared all my finances before heading out to Denver for the weekend to visit Jamie and Katie, I decided that it is about time to pay up the $25 fee.
I thought to myself, while a twinkle of a smile appeared, "Oh, how cute! They printed the violation notice twice just like how restaurants do when printing credit card charge receipts!" I happily wrote a check for $25 made out to the City of Chicago, and separated the two violation notices. As I licked the orange envelope, my eyes drifted to "my copy" of the parking violation citation. But something was amiss. My copy somehow had the following printed: "$120"
What the?!? Where the hell did that come from? Closer inspection revealed the following:
1. No, the city of Chicago did *not* print two copies of the citation.
2. The second citation was for "CITY STICKER-NO/IMPROPER DISPLAY; EXPIRED PERMIT 6-30-06"
Oh.
My.
God.
Damn you, Chicago! Apparently they brought out the big guns with a tub of Vaseline and rimmed me hard for my very first being caught! I can now picture Officer Rodriguez, Badge 801 from Unit 502, having the last laugh that fateful night of September 9, 2006. And I'm so totally convinced that he did this out of complete spite! He hates Asians! He hates Land Rovers! He hates blue vehicles! He hates guys having a perfect non-moving violation for two years!
Sigh... I guess I'm bitter because they send you advance notices for your vehicle's emissions test, registration expiration, and everything. Except the annual City Sticker renewals. It's a conspiracy... A conspiracy against newcomers to Chicago... Keep it up, Chicago! At this rate, you have no hope of recovering the exodus of the two million people in the last few decades. No hope of reclaiming the number two spot as the country's most populous city. Ever!
=)
I thought to myself, while a twinkle of a smile appeared, "Oh, how cute! They printed the violation notice twice just like how restaurants do when printing credit card charge receipts!" I happily wrote a check for $25 made out to the City of Chicago, and separated the two violation notices. As I licked the orange envelope, my eyes drifted to "my copy" of the parking violation citation. But something was amiss. My copy somehow had the following printed: "$120"
What the?!? Where the hell did that come from? Closer inspection revealed the following:
1. No, the city of Chicago did *not* print two copies of the citation.
2. The second citation was for "CITY STICKER-NO/IMPROPER DISPLAY; EXPIRED PERMIT 6-30-06"
Oh.
My.
God.
Damn you, Chicago! Apparently they brought out the big guns with a tub of Vaseline and rimmed me hard for my very first being caught! I can now picture Officer Rodriguez, Badge 801 from Unit 502, having the last laugh that fateful night of September 9, 2006. And I'm so totally convinced that he did this out of complete spite! He hates Asians! He hates Land Rovers! He hates blue vehicles! He hates guys having a perfect non-moving violation for two years!
Sigh... I guess I'm bitter because they send you advance notices for your vehicle's emissions test, registration expiration, and everything. Except the annual City Sticker renewals. It's a conspiracy... A conspiracy against newcomers to Chicago... Keep it up, Chicago! At this rate, you have no hope of recovering the exodus of the two million people in the last few decades. No hope of reclaiming the number two spot as the country's most populous city. Ever!
=)
posted by StHalcyon at
00:40
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