Scent of a Woman

ACK! What have I done to myself? As the impending {yet easily avoidable} end of my universe loomed around yesterday as the sun was setting, I decided to don on my crusader cape {more like an REI fleece jacket} and take matters into my own hands. I got into my batmobile {more like a slow, blue Land Rover Hippo} and dashed {more like drive and go, courtesy of the one stop light and five stop signs I have to drive through} towards my neighborhood convenient store to end this madness that is the end of my universe.

As I was still dazed and confused from the shock endured yesterday morning, I walked around the aisles aimlessly. I knew I had to get three essential items, but thought the aimless wandering around could serve a higher purpose of accidentally discovering additional items that I needed which I had not realized. You know, to prevent another universal meltdown, ha ha ha.

Before long, I got more than I had thought I would. Somehow I managed to grab a jar of strawberry preserves, a jar of peanut butter {reduced fat, creamy style, thank you}, a bag of frozen mini bagel dogs {can you say, lips and asses?}, and a Hershey's candy bar, all of which I do NOT need! Thankfully though, I did not forget my family pack of toilet paper {for which I have no room to store}, cartons of Silk and Tropicana orange juice, and a twelve-pack of Dove soap.

Ladies and germs, I mean, gentlemen, this is where things go wrong. I woke up this morning, unwrapped the twelve-pack and grabbed a box of soap, and stepped into the shower. As the hot, steamy shower runneth over my body {I hope I am NOT turning you on}, I proceeded to cleanse myself. And there it was! I just realized that the soap I got was scented!

Normally that's not a bad thing, as I used to use the Dove aromatherapy shower cream {why can't they just call it gel like every other manufacturer?!?}, but the difference here being that when you're done showering, you only have a faint scent lingering around, as the aroma was strongest during the shower. I have to resort to soap now, because that same Dove aromatherapy shower cream was thick and had little scent pearls {or beads} that clogged up my dispenser! Anyway, so now I have to resort to soap. And Dove soaps have a strong lingering scent well after your shower! I mean, it is already hours past that hot, steamy shower to rouse my sleepy self, but c'mon! I shouldn't smell like a girl still! And imagine, I have eleven bars of this same soap to go. It is going to be a long, long time. Hopefully nobody notices it in the future.

Ah, the scent of a woman. On a man. ;-)